Exercise Help

by Wayne Edwards

I am faithful with my exercise
Because it keeps my joints from locking.
One problem with my exerciser:
I need someone to start it rocking!


My Exercise

by Wayne Edwards

My doc said I should exercise,
Start lifting weights was his advice.
I went down to the grocery store
And there I bought some bags of rice.

At first I bought a ten-pound bag
And I also bought a twenty.
Then I bought a fifty-pound bag
To make sure that I had plenty.

At first I used the ten-pound bag
And thought I had done quite well.
The twenty-pound bag, I used next.
I set goals and I would not fail.

The fifty-pound bag was harder
But I struggled to carry on.
My unfounded fear of failure,
I found now, had completely gone.

My husband has been little help,
I surely won’t take his advice.
He said that I should take the bags
And fill them all back up with the rice!


Exercise Appetizer

by Wayne Edwards

Friends said I should exercise
And get rid of ugly pounds.
I have lumps where none should be,
I need to unround some rounds.

So I bought a nice outfit
And bought a jazzercise tape.
“Two hours a day,” it said,
I’d be in the best of shape.

But it seems that ten minutes
Was about all I could take.
And just to regain my strength
Took a double thick milkshake.

Then ten minutes the next day,
And with sweat still in my eyes,
I sat down and I consumed
Two whole coconut cream pies.

If you want my opinion,
A reformed exerciser,
A jazzercise tape is just
A real good appetizer.


I quite often, when reading to children, ask them to write a nonsense poem with four counts per line. It is a fun exercise and it is always amusing, and sometimes amazing, to see the verses that they come up with.

Dog and Cat Fight*

by Wayne Edwards

Now Tommy’s dog
And Sally’s cat
Decided they
Would have a spat.

As cat and dog,
Each of them knew,
That fighting’s what
They had to do.

Two days and nights
They fought and spat.
The dog on top
And then the cat.

If not for chores
They’d still be there.
Just teeth and claws
And fur and hair.

But Sally’s cat
Stopped fighting twice
To squall at night
And catch some mice.

Tom’s dog of course
Had cars to beat
And Tom’s homework
He had to eat!

*(Four counts per line)


Golfer’s Logic

by Wayne Edwards

He was at a Lamaze class
With his very pregnant wife,
Which is a required duty
In every man’s married life.

“Exercise is important,”
The pretty instructor said.
“Break her away from her soaps,
Take her for long walks instead.”

“Go walking in the country
Where grass is lush and green
With ponds and pretty scenery
And walking paths in between.”

He said, “Just like the golf course,
Where I go most every day,
She can carry my golf clubs,
On those long walks while I play!”