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Jenny Rose Lee
by Wayne Edwards

I love Jenny Rose Lee. 
And though she has braces, 
And lumps in wrong places, 
I know she’s the right girl for me.
I love Jenny Rose Lee. 
The braces don’t matter 
And what if she’s fatter, 
I know she’s the right girl for me.
I love Jenny Rose Lee, 
With freckles too many 
But bright as a penny, 
I know she’s the right girl for me.
Stupid Jenny Rose Lee, 
She sent me a letter, 
Said she could do better. 
Now, Sally’s the right girl for me!

Green Alligator
by Wayne Edwards

I have a little white rabbit
And a dog that dances a jig,
A hamster that lives in a bird cage
And a funny little brown pig.
Oh yes, and before I forget,
I have a green alligator
That sleeps most wherever it likes
But mostly on Mom’s ‘frigerator.
Now alligators have big teeth
And alligators love to bite.
But most of all, alligators
Are known for their big appetite.
Susie was proud of her rabbit
And John liked to brag on his pig.
Henry bought a cage for his hamster
And Paul loved his dog that could jig.
My alligator licked his chops
Because he was one hungry beast.
He thought all the pets were scrumptious.
His belly showed he’d had a feast.
Now I have a pet white rabbit
And a dog that dances a jig,
A hamster that lives in a bird cage
And a funny little brown pig.
At first you may not see my pets
‘Cause they’re all in my alligator,
Asleep in his favorite spot
On top of Mom’s ‘frigerator.
Money Concerns
by Wayne Edwards

“I’m going to marry John,” she said,
“He’s my soulmate, he’s my Honey.”
“That’s very nice,” her father said,
“But does John have any money?”
“Mom said you men were all alike;
And what she said, I guess, is true.
‘Cause that’s the first thing John asked me,
When we were talking about you.”
Easy Money
by Wayne Edwards

When I borrow money, 
I have a special knack. 
I borrow it from a pessimist, 
He won’t expect to get it back.
Piggy Bank
by Wayne Edwards

Daddy said some bad guys 
Had robbed the bank today. 
He said that they took lots of money 
And then they ran away.
“It’s hard to keep the robbers out,” 
Is what my daddy said. 
Why don’t they all just do like me 
And hide their bank under their bed?
Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire
by Wayne Edwards

If it’s the truth what kids all say, 
About what happens to a liar. 
Then my friend Leroy’s pants I know, 
Would always have to be on fire.
He told us that his dad is Santa 
And that his mom’s the Easter Bunny. 
He says the Tooth Fairy is his cousin, 
And he’s the one that gives her money.
Today he said he once ate liver, 
And then some spinach without dying. 
Now don’t you think that’s proof enough 
To know for sure that Leroy’s lying.
by Wayne Edwards

Since Keith lost his two front teeth,
Things he says don’t sound the same.
We all think that it is funny;
Keith can’t even say his name.
All of us now call him Keef
(That is what he says his name is).
That big gap in his top teeth
Is where he says the blame is.
Losing both of his front teeth
Sure kept the fairy hopping.
Now he has a lot of money
When his mother takes him shopping.
We know he can hardly wait
For his teeth to grow back in,
‘Cause he’s tired of being Keef
And just wants to be Keith again.

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