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Ice-Cream Man

He seemed a nice and friendly man
When first I went into his store.
I saw a list of flavors there
And said, “Don’t you have any more?”
He asked, “What flavors do you want?”
And claimed that he had quite a few.
“I have a brand new peppermint,
Pistachio and honey dew.”
“I have butter-brickle almond,
And a very tasty cherry,
Or how about a chocolate
That is swirled with boysenberry?”
“Would you like a fudge-banana
Or a caramel chocolate dip?
How about coffee pumpkin dream
Or maybe a butterscotch rip?”
“Would you like to try brandy peach
Or a peanut butter custard?
How about hamburger flavor?
It’s complete with cheese and mustard.”
“I also have orange marmalade,
Dr. Pepper, orange crush and root beer.
How about my almond mocha
Or my licorice candy cheer?”
“Of course I have pecan praline,
Tin roof, doghouse and rocky road.
Have you tried my favorite one
Called hippity hoppity toad?”
“There is strawberry pecan sherbet
And chocolate banana lime.
The one the kids all like to try
Is one called Frankenstein’s green slime.”
Well I don’t know why he kicked me,
He had been a jolly fella.
I guess it really made him mad,
When I said, “I’ll have vanilla.”
Wholesale Cat

Our cat got into a fight
And completely lost her tail.
It was the cat that my dad
Had decided we should sell.
Dad said now it sure looked like
We would have to wholesale her.
Because there is just no way
We could ever retail her.
Bad News About Grandpa
by Wayne Edwards

Grandpa was in the ER,
He’d been there quite a while
When the doctor came out.
He wasn’t wearing a smile.
“I’m afraid I have bad news;”
With a sad look, the doctor said,
“Your grandpa’s heart is beating,
But I’m afraid that he’s braindead.”
Grandmother was hysterical,
“How could he end up like that?
A conservative all his life,
And now he’s a Democrat?”

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