Home Page> NEW stuff Page> Writing Content Page> Guest Artists Page> WE Advantages of Being Short by Wayne Edwards Statistics show that short folks  Hardly ever bump their heads  And short people fit nicely  On the shortest hotel beds. They can swim in kiddy pools  And clothes are somewhat cheaper.  Their caskets are a bargain  When they go to meet the reaper. If they get caught in the rain,  They’re the last ones to get wet.  The last to see the sun rise  And the first to see it set. One problem that short men have,  ‘Cause it isn’t nice to stare,  Are those little miniskirts  That all the women wear! WE Magic Hat by Wayne Edwards I found a magic hat While walking in the mall. That is how I got so short, Although I had been rather tall. It said that I could wish for things And they’d appear out of thin air, And pile up on the hat’s broad brim; But warned that I should wish with care. At first I wished for little things, A brand new baseball and a bat. I felt the bumps when they appeared And landed on my magic hat. So then I asked for silly things; Jellybeans, a chocolate cake, Which joined the stuff atop my hat. The elephant was a big mistake! WE One Minor De-Tail by Wayne Edwards Mister rabbit stood At the Old Wishing Well And wished that he had A bushy long tail. He threw in some nickels And pennies and dimes And wished a hundred And twenty-three times. He spent all the money He had to buy food, Which had gotten him in A terribly bad mood. Why hadn’t he noticed The sign by the stairs? “The Old Wishing Well Is closed for repairs.” “WARNING, WARNING, WARNING! Wishes may be reversed” But Rabbit wished anyway, The wish he’d rehearsed. It had warned that all rabbits Should read the sign well And not wish for things Like a bushy long tail. So for trying to be So smart and so clever Rabbit’s tail just got shorter Much shorter than ever. And the one silly thing, The thing that’s most sad; Is that rabbits now have Shorter tails than they had. WE My Sneeze by Wayne Edwards My teacher asked me; “Goodness sakes, Bessie, Just look at your arm, Why is it so messy?” It makes you wonder, When they have to sneeze, How teachers wipe off The mess that it leaves. It was quite a sneeze, The worst of the day. Kids that were close by Complained of the spray. Where else could I wipe The gook a sneeze leaves? No tissue or hankie, And my dress had short sleeves! WE What can I say about Grace? It’s an old joke but it’s still funny. I’ve changed it some from the way I first heard it, to accommodate rhyming. If it has a moral, I guess it would be that we should never use religion to try and gain favors from another. If you lead a good Christian life, others will notice and you won’t have to tell people where you stand. A mother once asked her son if his friends at college gave him a hard time about being a Christian. His answer was that they had never found out. In Grace, the lion could see that his dinner wasn’t very sincere and at any rate, it didn’t matter. Grace by Wayne Edwards While walking through the jungle, Just to pass the time away, He came upon a lion Which can surely ruin one’s day. Was the beast going to eat him? He was frozen there with fright. The lion sure looked hungry, Like he had an appetite. The lion looked him over, Then he bowed down on his knees, Crossed his paws and closed his eyes, Just as gentle as you please. Was the lion someone’s pet? Did he think they were playing? For all the world, it looked like The lion had started praying. Our hero then took courage, He might yet survive this day. “I see, you are a Christian, I can tell the way you pray.” I also am a Christian, I just thought you’d like to know. I think we have a kinship, One that could certainly grow. Would you like to be my friend? I could teach you to play ball. Only now I’ve got to go, But I’ll sure give you a call.” The lion’s reply was short, There was anger on his face. He said, “Will you please shut up… Can’t you see I’m saying grace?” Next Page>

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