I Ain't No Graduation Speaker 2

I Ain’t No Graduation Speaker

I’ve never been invited to be a graduation speaker. For that matter, I’ve never been invited to be the speaker at any event. My wife, Linda, has been invited to speak to a group. People like Linda: me, not so much.

Now, I’m glad I wasn’t invited…kind of. First of all, I’m not much of a public speaker, and second, I’m not sure what I’d say. But, on the other hand, it would have been nice to have been invited, but as I said, Linda is universally liked and I’m not.

I vaguely recall the graduation speaker at my high school graduation. I think he owned a furniture business. Frankly, he should have stuck to selling furniture.

I missed out on my BA graduation at LSU and my MA graduation at A&M. I didn’t attend the LSU graduation because of the expense involved…the same reason I didn’t purchase a ring. I didn’t attend my MA graduation at A&M because it just seemed silly. Same thing for a ring.

Whoever the speakers were is of no consequence to me. I doubt that my fate would have been any different if I had heard their words.

I’m not sure how the idea originated that a graduation ceremony requires a speaker. Perhaps it began as an effort to give some gravitas to the ceremony.

Some folks, apparently, have made a pretty good effort in delivering really good graduation addresses. I found on the internet a list of the top ten most inspirational graduation speeches. The speakers were

a diverse group: Steve Jobs, Stanford University, 2005; Arnold Schwarzenegger, Emory University, 2010; Randy Pausch, Carnegie Mellon University; Michael Dell, University of Texas at Austin, 2003; Bono, University of Pennsylvania, 2004; JK Rowling, Harvard, 2008; Ellen Degeneres, Tulane University, 2009; Bill Gates, Harvard, 2007; Oprah Winfrey, Stanford University, 2008; and Larry Page, University of Michigan, 2009. Not a single furniture salesman in the group. If you’re interested, you can go to “10 Powerful and Inspiring Graduation Speeches You Don’t Want To Miss.”

If you are a graduation speaker, you should understand that you have a tough audience to address: the young people just want to get the heck out of Dodge; the parents just want to hug their kids; and the academics have been there, done that.

Thinking about graduation speeches has caused me to wonder what the heck I’d say if I were ever invited.

I’ve got it! I would begin with, “Don’t screw up.” On second thought, that’s all I would say---“Don’t screw up.” Yeah, I guess I understand why I haven’t been invited to be a graduation speaker.

enough

HOME page> NEW STUFF page>
WRITING CONTENT page> GUEST ARTISTS page>