I Know Nothing

Bill Neinast


Barack Obama was born a century too late. There was a political party in the middle of the 19th Century made especially for him.  He would have been a natural fit for the vice-presidency of President Millard Fillmore.

Actually, that is not exactly true.  Fillmore did not become leader of the Know Nothing Party until after he left the White House.  Also, Obama undoubtedly does not subscribe to the Know Nothing’s anti-Catholic sentiment and opposition to immigration.  

Nonetheless, he is an easy fit with the name.  There has never been a U.S. President who claims to know so little about what goes on in his administration until he hears it on the news. 

The glaring exception is the killing of Osama bin Laden.  Obama relishes the video coverage of him intently watching the raid on bin Laden’s compound.  He gloats as the announcer repeats that it was Obama who made the “difficult” decision to feed bin Laden to the fish.

On a more subdued note is his acceptance of the mixed accolades and criticism for his knowledge and approval of drone strikes to take out terrorist leaders and assorted civilians in Pakistan and elsewhere.  As more questions are raised about violations of international law in those invasions of other countries’ sovereignty, however, recognition of the President’s role and knowledge are becoming rare.

As to other activities of his administration, Obama takes on the role of Sergeant Schulz from the “Hogan’s Heroes” TV show.  His mantra is, “I know nothing, nothing ,except my golf schedule and where I am next to read from my TelePrompTers.”

But Mr. President, what about those four dead Americans in Benghazi?

The President’s answer to that one is, “There you go again, you little Twit.  What does it matter now?  After all, I first heard about the incident at Benghazi when an aid told me, when I was out golfing, that he had seen something on TV about some riots in Libya over a TV production in the U.S. that is critical of the Prophet Mohammad. Then former Secretary of State Clinton assured me that she was not aware of any security problems in Libya.  We have already indicted the producer of that video. What more do you expect?”

Well, then, Mr. President, what about the IRS targeting Tea Party organizations?

“Don’t you guys ever give up?  I recently heard a rumor that some low level functionary way down in the bowels of the IRS took it upon himself or herself to harass some organizations that were applying for non-profit status.  You doubters claim that the only organizations targeted were those tied in some way with Tea Party groups.  l learned of this only after Lois Lerner, a long-time, faithful employee, was picked to be a scapegoat and forced onto paid leave and then into a well deserved retirement with full benefits.  

“What more do you expect?  Certainly you cannot expect further action when the IRS is gearing up to be the main enforcement arm under my gift to America--The Affordable Care Act.  That’s what some of you Wags call Obamacare.”

OK.  Certainly, however, Mr. President, you must have been aware that your Justice Department was considering criminal charges against several news organizations for flaunting their rights of a free press.

“Now look here, how dare you impugn the reputation of Attorney General Eric Holder, my good friend and stalwart protector of our freedoms.  I became aware of those scurrilous charges only after Holder testified under oath before Congress that he had no knowledge of the search warrants involving the AP and FOX Newsman James Rosen that bore his name.  If my friend had no prior knowledge of those attacks on a free press, how could you expect me to know about them?”

So, you know nothing about the activities of your confidant Eric Holder.  What about your friend German Chancellor Angel Merkel?  You must have known\ that NSA was bugging her cell phone conversations.

“There you go again.  Falsely accusing me of knowing anything about the activities of NSA.  That is, you know, a secret organization.  Everything they do is secret. The report in the Los Angeles Times that current and former intelligence officials’ claim that the White House is not kept in the dark and that details of such activities are in daily briefings is a pack of lies.  How can you expect me, with my schedule of almost daily campaign appearances, to keep up with all this international intrigue?”

So here’s the perspective.

This list of Obama “I know noth-i-i-i-inig, noth-i-i-i-ing” could go on for pages.  The point is clear, however, that our current President, by his own admissions, knows less about what is going on in the government than any of his predecessors.  If he does not know anything, how can he be blamed for being totally ineffective?

As he does not know anything about anything except bin Laden, he cannot be lying about anything; i.e., stating something as a fact that he knows is not true.

That even holds true on his promise that you can keep your insurance under Obamacare.  As our son, Will, sees it, he clearly stated, “You can keep your Insurance, Period!”   None of the people who have lost their insurance are named Period.  Therefore he stands by his statement.


HOME page>                  NEW STUFF page> 
          WRITING CONTENT page>       GUEST ARTISTS page>Home_1.htmlNew_Stuff.htmlEssays.htmlGuest_Artists.htmlshapeimage_1_link_0shapeimage_1_link_1shapeimage_1_link_2shapeimage_1_link_3