I’ve Seen Enough

John W. Pinkerton


I’m a channel flipper: alligators, flip, sharks, flip, UFOs, flip, ghosts, flip, tatoos, flip, big foot, flip, bears, flip, prisons and jails, flip.

How many times will I be given an opportunity to see alligators in zoos, in the wild, accompanied by bayou men?  Often is the answer, but as someone once commented, “When you’ve seen one alligator, you’ve seen them all.”  A testament to man’s stupidity are the morons who put parts of their bodies into the mouths of alligators and act shocked when the alligators try to separate the donor from his appendage.

Sharks seem to be excessively prevalent on TV.  I’m sure part of this is the result of the wildly popular movie Jaws.  Although sharks come in many different configurations, they all seem to be preoccupied with eating.  When poked with a stick, they become angry and try to eat the person poking them: an understandable reaction.  Occasionally they get confused or really hungry and try to eat a random person.  Not the stuff of great entertainment.

UFOs take up a lot of television hours.  All we seem to have gotten out of our interest in possible extraterrestrials are a bunch of fuzzy photographs and, even worse, faked photographs, and seemingly sincere folks who report seeing lights in the sky or very rarely eyewitness reports of encounters with “greys.”  Once again no one seems to have cameras with them when they encounter these extraterrestrials.  The latest are water-UFOs.  I guess it all started in 1947 with Roswell.  Personally I’ve never seen a UFO or a grey.  Maybe I’ll regret not watching more of these UFO programs if I ever do.

Ghosts have more than one program which centers on them.  Mostly it’s folks walking around saying, “Did you feel that?” or “What was that?”  I guess there are worse ways of making a living, but not much worse.

Tattoos seem to have a following with  Miami Ink and Tattoo Wars.  I’m a pretty negative old guy when it comes to tattoos.  Don’t have any: don’t want to watch folks who do.

Big Foot, Sasquatch, Yeren, and Yeti seem to draw pretty good sized crowds.  We get a lot of scat and hair and eyewitness reports none of whom seem to have cameras.  Let’s not forget Mexico’s chupacabra. 

Bears pretty much leave folks alone unless they feel threatened, or they suspect that their young  are threatened.  Yet, there seems to be an endless supply of folks who like to get up close and personal with these beasts.  Good luck to you.

Prisons and jails have become popular subjects of TV shows.  Dramas: Oz and Prison Break.  Reality shows: The Squad: Prison Police, Prison Wives, Cell Block 6: Female Lockup, Babes Behind Bars, Beyond Scared Straight, Jail, County Jail.  We have to pay for these folks to be incarcerated so that we don’t see them.  Why would I want to watch them on television?

There are plenty of shows featuring crazed chefs, crazed women, car nuts, motorcycle nuts, talent searches, and reality shows of every description (Where do they get these people?).  Personally, I’ve seen enough.  Flip.

Surely the market for these shows will soon be exhausted.  If not, flip, flip, and flip.


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