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Last Meals

Don't ask me why this thought crossed my mind; I have no plans to commit a heinous crime which would place me on death row, but it never hurts to plan ahead, just in case…who knows?

The thought that crossed my mind was what would I choose as my last meal.  I know, I know, it's kind of a morbid thought, and I suppose if I were about to meet Old Sparky or whatever they do today to dispatch those whom society deems unworthy of remaining among the living, not every thought would be concentrated on what's on the menu.

Last meal requests began in Texas around 1924.  It was recently ended in Texas because of a request by a condemned man who was apparently also guilty of false gluttony.

In the US, alcoholic drinks are not served with last meals; however, if you wish to have your last meal served with a small portion of rum, France is the crime scene for you.

Florida spends the most on last meals, $40; Oklahoma seems a little miserly by comparison, $15; if you want someone, the warden, to share in your final repast, Louisiana is your venue.

In September of 2011, Texas abolished all last meal requests because of the request for a huge meal by prisoner Lawrence Russel Brewer who did not eat it once delivered to him.  Thanks, Lawrence.

I looked around the internet for horrid people you may remember to see what they requested and received.

John Wayne Gacy, remember him?  He sexually assaulted and killed 33 teenage boys and young men.  What a prince!  He ate twelve fried shrimp, a bucket of original recipe Kentucky Fried Chicken, French fries, and one pound of strawberries and then it was audios, Mr. Gacy, you fat pig.
Ted Bundy, another sweetheart: the last meal of Mr. Bundy---killer, rapist, kidnapper and necrophile responsible for about thirty deaths---was a medium rare steak, over-easy eggs, hash browns, toast with butter and jelly, milk, and juice.  He must not have had much of an appetite because he didn't make any special request but accepted the traditional last meal.
I know you recall Timothy McVeigh---the Oklahoma City bomber who killed 168 people.  Requested and ate two pints of mint chocolate chip ice cream.

Not wanting to be accused of being sexist, I've included one of the death row chicks…oops.

Karla Faye Tucker, a Texas girl, was executed after having a garden salad with ranch dressing, a banana, and a peach.  Karla Faye drew a lot of attention because she was a born-again Christian and female---a female who brutally murdered Jerry Lynn Dean and Deborah Thornton.

As for my last meal, I have thought about it long and hard and have decided that I had better remain faithful to my own memory of good meals and not wander off in some final experiment.

The main course would be a filet mignon---  not the crap they normally try to pass off as this delicious cut of beef, but rather something similar to what I received at a cafeteria style restaurant in Dallas about forty years ago.  Dallas Filet Mignon, I have never forgotten you.  I was raised on rice, so that is my side veggie smothered in beef gravy.   Nothing green, thank you.  My beverage would be a nice tall glass of milk, something I never order in a restaurant because I don't trust their milk.  For dessert I choose Blue Bell's cantaloupe ice cream…oh, Lord, that's good.


But now, thanks to Lawrence Russell Brewer, I must take whatever the prison folks decide to give me no matter how horrible my crime.


enough