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The Poetry of Wayne Edwards

WE

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

by Wayne Edwards


If it’s the truth what kids all say,
About what happens to a liar.
Then my friend Leroy’s pants I know,
Would always have to be on fire.

He told us that his dad is Santa
And that his mom’s the Easter Bunny.
He says the Tooth Fairy is his cousin,
And he’s the one that gives her money.

Today he said he once ate liver,
And then some spinach without dying.
Now don’t you think that’s proof enough
To know for sure that Leroy’s lying.

WE 

I don’t know where I first heard this story but it’s been around for quite a while. It was just the kind of story that I like to make into a poem. The Bible says that out of the mouth of babes and sucklings comes praise, Matt. 21:16. I, of course, gave the little boy a name that would make my job easier since it rhymes with egg. (A poet’s prerogative.) This is a wonderful poem for church secretaries to include in the church bulletin on Easter Sunday.

Hollow Promise

by Wayne Edwards


The Easter Bunny came today.
And left me lots of things real neat.
Best of all a chocolate bunny
Which I could hardly wait to eat.

It’s awful how they fool us kids.
Disappointment’s hard to swallow.
Just now when I bit its ear off,
I found out that it was hollow!

WE

The Empty Egg

by Wayne Edwards



He was the slowest in his class,
The little bashful boy named Craig.
She knew he wouldn’t understand
When she had handed him the egg.

But not to give him his own egg,
She felt would just be too unfair.
And if he didn’t comprehend,
She knew the others wouldn’t care.

Each was to fill his plastic egg,
For their class Easter Show and Tell,
Something to depict the season
That they could fit inside the shell.

Excitement showed on each child’s face
As they came up with egg in hand.
Each egg held a hidden treasure
Carefully placed on Teacher’s stand.

The last to place his treasure there
Was little, bashful, backward, Craig.
With slow steps he brought it forward,

He brought it forward,
Reluctant to give up his egg.

As she opened up each treasure,
The child would come and tell with pride.
How Easter was depicted by
The object that was placed inside.

One egg had held a pack of seeds,
‘Cause seeds contain the hope of life.
Another held a cactus thorn,
A symbol of His pain and strife.

She waited ‘til the very last,
To open up the one marked Craig.
Then carefully she put it down,
For he had brought an empty egg.

Craig came up to join the others,
And standing there in happy line.
Without his usual stutter,
Said, “Teacher, won’t you open mine?”

The teacher, lost for what to say,
In answer to Craig’s woeful stare,
“But Craig, I looked inside your egg.
There’s absolutely nothing there!”

His answer caused her eyes to tear
As Craig explained it to the room.
“When Mary went down to the grave,
That’s what she found in Jesus’ tomb.”

WE

Irony

by Wayne Edwards


A stupid goat ate my homework.
I know that she won’t believe it.
Once the goat got started eating
There’s no way I could retrieve it.

I think all teachers are alike,
They don’t want to believe the truth.
Russian spies really stole my books
Out of the drugstore pay-phone booth.

When space aliens took my lunch
And fed it to their Nardyskipp,
Teacher sent me to the office
To take a yellow tardy slip!

I got blasted with a ray gun
That time I nearly almost died,
Mom said it was only sunburn
And then she made me play inside.

She said making up wild stories
Is something kids should never do.
We should only tell each other
Things that we all know are true.

Like Santa Claus leaves lumps of coal
For kids who like to stretch the truth,
The Easter Bunny lays blue eggs.
A fairy wants to buy my tooth.

WE 

OK, if you don’t like Conundrum, tear the page out. Maybe I should have had the margin perforated to make it easy. While I was still in college, I heard this story from a Baptist minister who worked with the students. He claimed that it actually happened to him; since then he has been very careful about being truthful with his children, no matter how white the lie might seem to be. If we are untruthful with them, about someone as important in their lives asSanta Clause, it may cause them to think that we have been lying to them about God also. Every parent must make his or her own decision, on how to handle the Santa Clause conundrum.

CONUNDRUM

by Wayne Edwards


When Johnny was three our Christmas was fun.
We got up early to see what Santa had done.
That Santa existed he had little doubt,
For Santa had eaten the food we left out.

At four and at five he still was naive.
He was filled with excitement on each Christmas Eve.
But when he was six, he started to doubt.
We were sure he was going to find the truth out.

We had to be sneaky and tell little lies.
We just didn’t want to spoil his surprise.
Not only for him, but also to please us,
Of course he was taught, the birthday of Jesus.

That was the true meaning we tried to impart,
If he was to have Jesus’ love in his heart.
Then one day, after school, he sat down and cried.
His friends had told him that his parents had lied.

We tried to explain, the things we had done
Were to make him excited, to make Christmas fun.
We found out how hard our trust was to mend,
When we heard him discussing his hurt with a friend.

“No Santa Claus? No Easter Bunny?
They told me those lies and they think that it’s funny?
I tell you just what, I’m gonna do.
I’m gonna check into this Jesus stuff too!”

WE

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