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Don’t Play with Your Food

My mother thinks I’m silly
For playing with my food.
She says to see me do it
Puts her in a terrible mood.
Some kids I know have puppies,
One has talking parrots.
But I’d rather spend my time
With tomatoes, corn and carrots.
My mother thinks I’m silly
But I don’t care at all.
‘Cause my veggie friends and I
Are heading off to play baseball!
Food Play

Sometimes when I’m happy 
And in a playful mood, 
I like to do fun things 
Creative with my food.
So when I learn to talk 
The first thing that I’ll say, 
“I want some food to eat 
And some food just for play!”
Cafeteria Food

The best food that I ever ate 
Was food I had one day at school 
I liked the green and slimy stuff 
And all the yellow lumpy gruel.
I licked the saucer and the bowl 
And made it shiny clean as new 
And then they filled it up again 
With some really smelly stew.
**You shouldn’t take your dog to school 
I surely won’t do it again 
The food that Spot thought was so great 
All came out of the garbage bin! 
Food Pong

I think it’s fun to play with food,
But it makes my mommy mad.
“Stop playing with your food,” she says,
“Or I’m going to tell your dad!”
Today I made a little mess
On the ceiling, walls and floor.
Mommy didn’t look too happy
As she wiped food off the door.
“What did you do to make this mess?
I wasn’t gone so very long!”
I told her, as she cleaned it up,
That I was playing Food Ping-Pong.
Alligator Food

I was going to pick some fruit
From my grandfather’s apple tree.
I was carrying a bucket
And I was whistling happily.
As I walked by Grandpa’s stock pond,
I noticed lots of water swirls.
I knew from all the piles of clothes
I’d found some skinny-dipping girls.
It wasn’t long a head appeared,
Then two more and then another.
One girl hollered, “If you don’t leave,
We’re going to tell your mother!”
I told them I would gladly leave
But I’d have to come back later.
I held my bucket up and said
“It’s time to feed the alligator!”
Funny Face
by Wayne Edwards

I like to make a funny face 
To see how funny I can be. 
I like to do it most of all 
When Dad takes photographs of me.
He sets us kids all in a row 
And says that we should all say cheese. 
That’s when I make the kind of face 
That Grandma says, one day will freeze.
Dad always says when I get big 
And bring a date over for tea, 
That he will get our album out 
And show him photographs of me.
Well if it’s Jim or Bob or Bill 
Or even if it’s Stan or Drew. 
It’s not going to bother me 
‘Cause they make funny faces too. 
Big Bears Can’t Climb Trees
by Wayne Edwards

A great big ugly bear 
Was coming after me. 
Great big bears can’t climb, 
So I went up a tree.
Big bear clawed and growled, 
I was in the best of places; 
So I threw limbs at him, 
And made funny faces.
Big bear went away, 
As mad as he could be. 
I was very comfortable 
Up in my pin oak tree.
Great big bear came back, 
Brought a little bear with him. 
Little bears can climb; 
I hid out on a limb
Big bear left again; 
Things are looking grim. 
Big bear just came back; 
He brought a beaver with him! 
The Kissing Tree
by Wayne Edwards

I’d rather play tag with an old toothless hag 
Than to kiss the freckle-faced boy. 
I would rather eat slop with pickles on top 
Than to sit by stupid Leroy.
The girls all like Bob who I think is a snob 
With his nose stuck up in the air, 
And if it is true, what I just heard from Sue, 
He sleeps with a pink Teddy Bear.
But it won’t take me long to say that you’re wrong 
When you claim I like Stinky Stan. 
And as for Jack Jones, who is just skin and bones, 
He can’t run as fast as I can.
But the boy that I like, let’s just call him Mike, 
Is funny and handsome and tall… 
And if he chased me to the old kissing tree 
I wouldn’t run too fast at all! 
Consider the Grasshopper
by Wayne Edwards

Consider the grasshopper; 
She not here to please. 
She eats all our flowers 
And the leaves from our trees.
In story she’s lazy 
She won’t gather or store. 
She eats for today, 
Thinking there’s always more.
Her main benefit, 
I think there’s no doubt, 
Is food for the birds 
And as bait to catch trout.
Her legs launch her quickly, 
In her flights through the skies, 
Her ears are quite funny 
‘Cause they’re on her thighs!
If our ears were like that, 
How embarrassing, I fear, 
If we had to tell secrets 
In that kind of ear.
Green Alligator
by Wayne Edwards

I have a little white rabbit
And a dog that dances a jig,
A hamster that lives in a bird cage
And a funny little brown pig.
Oh yes, and before I forget,
I have a green alligator
That sleeps most wherever it likes
But mostly on Mom’s ‘frigerator.
Now alligators have big teeth
And alligators love to bite.
But most of all, alligators
Are known for their big appetite.
Susie was proud of her rabbit
And John liked to brag on his pig.
Henry bought a cage for his hamster
And Paul loved his dog that could jig.
My alligator licked his chops
Because he was one hungry beast.
He thought all the pets were scrumptious.
His belly showed he’d had a feast.
Now I have a pet white rabbit
And a dog that dances a jig,
A hamster that lives in a bird cage
And a funny little brown pig.
At first you may not see my pets
‘Cause they’re all in my alligator,
Asleep in his favorite spot
On top of Mom’s ‘frigerator.
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