...and I Ain’t too Sure about You
Most folks look forward to meeting new people. I’m no exception. I like to meet decent folks with interesting minds, folks who have something in common with me, sane folks who are not likely to kill me on purpose or accidentally, and folks who are reasonably well-informed.
Where are these folks? Of late, I’ve noticed it seems to be less and less possible to meet such folks.
Having an inquisitive mind, I’ve done a little research, and I think I’ve discovered why I’m having trouble meeting these folks.
About 8.6% of the adult population has a felony conviction. This doesn’t necessarily make them bad people, but I don’t think I’ll use them as references or lend them my car.
3.3 percent of people in the U.S. are illegal aliens. Nothing against these folks except the “illegal” part.
22 million Americans believe the moon landing was faked. Holy moly!
23 percent identify themselves as liberals. Yeah, I confess I have liberal friends, but it’s a burden, and I’m not actively seeking new ones.
10%-30% of the population loves soccer: holy crap!
Another one-fifth of you folks have mental illness problems. Well, that thins the herd.
One-fifth of you folks can’t even get a high school diploma in four years. About 39 million people over the age of 18 do not have a high school diploma, not exactly a high bar. Again, this doesn’t make you a bad person, but, come on.
About 2.7 million of y’all are drug addicts. Why can’t you folks be alcoholics like 12 million other Americans?
By definition 50% of you have IQs below 100. This hasn’t kept me from having good friends from this group, but I can’t depend on them to understand my jokes.
Now it has emerged that 70 per cent of Americans do not know what the Constitution is. You need not apply for friendship status.
Six per cent don't even know when Independence Day falls. Morons!
Nearly one-third of Americans don’t know who the vice-president is? Really, folks? Personally, I’d like to forget, but I do know.
According to new research from the Pew Research Center's Internet & American Life Project, 61 percent of Americans own a smartphone. Obviously, a lot of smart phones are in the hands of dumb people.
About 8 million people believe they’ve seen a UFO. Some of you men and women are probably right, but the rest of you are nuts.
Well, I guess that just leaves you and me…and I ain’t too sure about you.
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