HOME page                  NEW STUFF page 
          WRITING CONTENT page       GUEST ARTISTS pageHome_1.htmlNew_Stuff.htmlEssays.htmlGuest_Artists.htmlshapeimage_1_link_0shapeimage_1_link_1shapeimage_1_link_2shapeimage_1_link_3

Bubba and Bobby Joe Solve Most of America’s Problems

John W. Pinkerton


Bubba and Bobby Joe, arriving at the same moment, glided across the barroom floor and slid on to their regular stools happy that it was Friday and a weekend was ahead.

The bar had its usual high numbers of patrons all of whom looked happy to be there and also glad it was Friday.  Waldo’s is obviously a working man's bar.

After their beers were served and their work expressions began to fade, they began their debriefing.

Bubba fired the first salvo. “You know,  solving the 'problems' of our country ain't brain surgery.”

“I'll buy that, Bubba. Take illegal immigrants: just complete the wall and treat folks wanting to live here the way we have for a couple of centuries.  Is that so hard?”

Bubba, pointing a finger at Bobby Joe, “Yeah and gun control: enforce the ding-dang background checks…and then work on the real problems causing shootin' deaths---nut cases.”

Bobby Joe retorted, “And votin' shoudn't be a problem.  Voter ID's are a must; voting occurs on one day---two or three days at the most, and absentee ballots must be requested---not flung into the air to be 'harvested'.”

Bubba shot back, “The best way to get rid of the swamp politicians is term limits and movin' large numbers of the Feds out of Washington.”

Bobby after downing the remainder of his beer responded, “Our budget problems…holy crap! Cut the budget by 10% for a few years---and no more friggin' pork, you jackasses.  At least have a plan.”

Bubba responded, “Health care---the present system provides enough safety nets.  Leave it alone before you totally screw it up.”

Bobby Joe, placing his hand over his heart declared, “As for taxes, have a goal of reducin’ it to no more than 10% on individuals and corporations.”

Bubba twirling an index finger in the air, declared, “Education! Kill the worthless Education Department and encourage more private schools.  We had better schools before the Department of Education.”

Bobby Joe, working on his next position, looked a little strained, addsd, “As for abortion, allow it but don’t fund it.”

Bubba, waving at a local lawman, Vern Smitt, at the end of the bar, “The Police---support them and prosecute the crap out of those who violate the law---including policemen.”

Ol’ Vern gave Bubba a thumbs up.

Bobby Joe, looking a little puzzled, finally spoke, “Bubba, I think I've run out of solutions.  How 'bout you?”

“Don’t worry about it, Bobby Joe.  Give Washington fifteen minutes, and they’ll create a bunch of new problems for us to solve.”

“How 'bout them Cowboys?”

“Bubba, don't get me started.”