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I Sneered at my Fantasy Analysis

John W. Pinkerton


Okay, I know you want to know how I did in fantasy football this year…no?  Well, I'm going to tell you anyway.

First, a little back story.

At the end of the NFL fantasy season last season, 2020, I found myself to be the winner.   That means there was almost a twenty year gap between my  championships.  I won it handily the first year of this league.  Almost twenty years later, I won it for the second time.

“Congratulations, John,” or not so much.

I found the reaction of my fellow participants a little strange.  I think one congratulated me, but there was silence from the others.  I kept wondering when we would have the end of season party to crown the new champion, moi---crickets.  Now, admittedly, there was no financing for a party because the league had foregone the league dues because of covid, $50 each, but I assumed that the cost would fall back on the previous winner, 2019, who won in a year that covid was rampant and thus no party, but we had dues.  Apparently not.

The strangest reaction to my win was no one even mentioned the trophy.  The trophy, a Big Boy statuette on a wooden base with all of the names of the winners on it has always gone to the home of the winner.  I guess it remained at the home of the previous year's winner.

You might be asking, “Why didn't you ask about what was going on?”  Good question.  I had a good answer, but Linda made me remove it.  Okay.  She’s probably right.

Okay, enough of the back story.

Last season, 2020, for the first time, I allowed the Yahoo fantasy program to choose my team for me rather than the traditional methods of a regular draft.  I won so I decided to allow this again in 2021.

Yahoo has a very sophisticated fantasy program which includes an analysis of each member's draft.  It's computer generated, but reads as though someone took the time to create it.

My analysis criticized me for not choosing more running backs.  My immediate reaction was, “Hey, Nimrod, you chose my team, not me.”

It also rated “my” choices as compared to the other members.  It graded mine a D+, the worst in the league.  I sneered at Yahoo---I find myself sneering a lot these days.

However, my season began with two losses.  I thought, “Maybe Yahoo isn't as stupid as I thought.”

Then I won three in a row.  That's pretty much how the rest of the season went---win one, lose one, etc.

I had a shot up until the last game.  Actually we had two last games---the commissioner failed to notice a game had been added to the season.

Going into the last week, a bunch of us were tied for the third position.  I knew the odds were long against me because I had the fewest points in the league: total points is the tie breaker.  Anyway, I lost my game.  Game over.

To shorten this tale, I finished 5th at the end of the playoffs winning my two games in the consolation playoff.  I believe I've finished 5th more often than I've finished anywhere else.  I consider it a spot reserved for me.

I still haven't heard a word from the commissioner about a party---not a word about anything.   The league has gone silent.