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Objective Observer

John W. Pinkerton


As an objective observer of mankind, I declare us to be a pretty sad lot.

I prefer to put a positive spin on the world---to find humor in the world, but holy crap!

We enter the world from a screaming woman's body surrounded by placenta.  We then begin to suck at our mother's  tits for nourishment to be followed by eating stuff sprouting from the ground or animals stomping around in their own excrements.  We excrete what we ingest about a million times.  If we survive our early years, we begin to have sex…not a pretty picture…and the cycle begins again.  If we are not killed or maimed by an external force, we have numerous…numerous internal time bombs ticking.

Along the way, we make a lot of mistakes and we develop irrational behaviors which lead to no good.

We inflict enormous cruelties on our neighbors and sometimes even ourselves.

The worst of us, we kill other humans and some even kill their own offsprings.

You want to tell me again why aliens looking at this mess should not annihilate the whole bunch?

Just saying.

I guess this essay pretty much blows any opportunity I might have had to receive the Roy Rogers Positive Attitude Award.  Oh, well.

Okay…it's time to look for something humorous to write about.