Same-Sects Marriage Bill Tune bctune@gmail.com What's this I hear about a controversy over same-sects marriage? How could anyone object to people who belong to the same sect marrying? It is only logical that people who share similar religious beliefs as well as an attraction to each other should be allowed to spend the rest of their lives together in wedded bliss (or whatever). To deny them the same legal rights and privileges that my spouse and I, both Methodists, enjoy seems cruel and unusual. Many of these same-sects couple will want to have families, and if they can provide a loving, supportive environment for their children, they're doing better than a lot of the families out there today. What? Huh? Oh…same SEX marriage? Oh, well...never mind. With all due respect to Gilda Radner's SNL character Emily Litella from the late 70's, I feel a need to weigh in on the current issue of same-sex marriage. One of man's greatest fears is of the unknown. I believe the reason that same-sex marriage is so quickly becoming openly acceptable is because more and more people are getting to know gay people. Our perceptions of the gay community are changing based on the knowledge that they're not as different as once thought. The “typical” gay man is not the flaming shirtless guy wearing short-shorts on the gay pride parade float. As more people become comfortable showing the world who they really are, we see gays in every profession, living normal lives, productive members of society, many of them raising children, either adopted or from a previous marriage. The only real difference between gay and straight lifestyles is that only straight couples can legally marry in all 50 states. Many gay couples have been together for decades, sharing everything married couples do except the legal rights and privileges of a government-sanctioned union. My primary reason for supporting gay rights is experience. I am blessed to know many gay people and find them to be loving, open, and quality people. I don't pretend that my circle of friends is a representative cross-section of the gays in our society, but this is my experience. I have great difficulty understanding how anyone can get to know gay people, hear their stories, and then believe that sexual orientation is just a choice influenced by the environment. Thus, the biggest obstacle to greater acceptance of gays is ignorance. Have you ever heard of anyone who supported gay rights but then changed his or her mind? It usually happens the other way around because the more one knows, the better decisions one makes. Well-meaning, conscientious, sincere citizens who oppose gay rights simply do not understand what it means to be gay. That is their unknown. I have found that gays and lesbians exhibit the same qualities as straight people, both good and bad. The stereotypes of our “different” brothers and sisters are hurtful and inaccurate. Getting to know gay people dispels these myths. Sending your son to school to be taught by a gay man should be of no more concern than sending your daughter to school to be taught by a straight man. People who object to gays in the military, education, or (pick one) need to understand that they've always been there, quietly doing the job. In the interest of full disclosure, I have a gay son. He’s been gay since 1999. Well, actually, he's been gay since his birth in 1979, but he came out to his mother and me when he was 19. Initially, we were shocked and disappointed because it meant rethinking the future we had imagined for him (and us). We realized that his long-time girlfriend would not become our future daughter-in-law or the mother of our grandchildren. Fortunately, however, we also knew that our love for him was unchanged and that we had no control over his sexual orientation any more than he did. My greatest concern for him, besides the scary AIDs thing, was his finding someone with whom to share his life. He floundered for a while, as do most adolescents, but found his life-partner in 2004. We love and are very proud of our “son-in-law.” Would I still support gay rights if my son were not gay? Yes, I would, but admittedly it would not be as intensely personal. For those who would accuse me of a self-serving motive here, I hereby promise that if my son becomes an axe-murderer, I will NOT start campaigning for equal rights for all axe-murderers. I seek justice for all, not privileges for my family. There is much opposition to same-sex marriage coming from the church. I am a life-long churchgoer with strong opinions about this issue. I have read much about the Biblical teachings on same-sex practices and the various interpretations of those teachings. People who teach that the Bible has unequivocal teachings against the practice of homosexuality do themselves and those who listen to them a great disservice. Again, the biggest obstacle here is ignorance coupled with a refusal to consider any new thinking. In the thousands of verses of scripture, only (about) six seem to address this issue. Without going into a full theological discourse, it should be noted that many respected Biblical scholars find these scriptures very weak in sexual condemnation when considering the translation, context, and social circumstances surrounding them. The writers of the Bible had no concept of committed, same-sex relationships so this is never addressed. The scriptures in question could easily be referring to male prostitutes of the day, still a no-no in my book. How very sad that the same people who use scripture to condemn others ignore Jesus's instructions to treat others with love and respect and directs us to be generous with our resources. By the way, Jesus never said anything about the subject. Important? I think so. People in the church confuse the acceptance of gays with a lowering of our standards. Not condemning homosexuality does not mean giving those people carte blanche to do whatever. Once we get past the difference in sexual orientation, everyone is held to the same standards of behavior: faithfulness in relationships, service to others, honesty, and responsible living. This describes the gays I know. Promiscuity is still wrong, pedophilia is still wrong, rape is still wrong. The same rules apply to everyone. We're not that different. God gave us brains so we could think, learn, discover, and reason. God is forever the same, but our understanding of Him is ever changing as we gain a greater understanding of the world. The vengeful God of the Old Testament became the God of love in the New Testament. God didn't change, man did. Sadly, the church is rarely on the cutting edge of progressive thinking. From the Inquisition to slavery to civil rights to women's rights, the church has been resistant to change. It's time to change again and, once again, for the better. (End of sermon. Please leave your offering on the table as you leave.) Many people hide their opposition to gay marriage behind religious beliefs when the real problem is the “yuck factor.” If the concept of same sex is so disgusting to some, how can others prefer it? I know the feeling. I hate liver. I have accidentally tried to eat it twice in my life and found it quite vile both times. I cannot fathom anyone enjoying the flavor of liver. However, I have a good friend who loves it, and when we used to eat together at Luby's, he ordered it every time because his wife would not serve it. His desire for liver is still beyond my comprehension, but I don't mind his eating it just so long as he doesn't try to make me eat it. Apparently he's not the only one who likes it or Luby's wouldn't serve it. People who oppose gay unions because of the yuck factor need to focus their attention elsewhere. Anyone who pictures every couple they know having sex has got bigger problems than gay marriage. Redefining marriage? Really? That's what we're worried about? The legal definition of marriage has been changed so often I don't see a problem. How did the acceptance of interracial marriages (as late as 2000 in Alabama) devalue the same-race marriages? If same-sex marriage was legal in my state, would my wife and I be any less married, any less committed? Did you take a good look at the people that flocked to the courthouses in places that recently legalized same-sex marriage? Did you see frivolous, carefree, 20-somethings engaging in a “fun lark?” Or did you see people that looked a lot like you and me, some of whom have been together for decades, embracing the loves of their lives and fulfilling a life-long dream? I saw the latter. Our society would be stronger, not weaker, if we encouraged these stable relationships. Of course, we mustn't ignore the infamous “slippery slope” argument. If we allow same-sex couples to marry, then people will soon demand to marry their pets, their iPhones, and the tree in the front yard. We're still talking about two consenting adults, people. It's not really that different. A “good” same-sex marriage will look much like its straight counterpart: two people in love, committed, faithful, and supportive of each other. I even suspect that same-sex partners will take it more seriously. How can we claim to worry about the current “sanctity of marriage” with a 50% divorce rate and rampant serial monogamy? (I restrain from making a Kardashian comment here.) My life experience tells me that homosexuality is a lot more natural/normal than most people think. It's often found in the animal world, and it's been a part of humanity for thousands of years or it never would have been mentioned in the Old Testament. Is it more common today, or are people just more open about it? I don't know, but considering the threat of over-population in today's world, maybe this is nature's birth control. I find it tragic to think of how many gay people over the centuries were compelled to hide their true selves. Speaking of tragedies, think about how many teen suicides are rooted in an adolescent's confusion over sexual orientation in a society that attaches huge shame to people who are “different”. The parents of my son's partner moved in with them five or six years ago because the father had early Alzheimer's. Last fall the mother got very ill and soon died. During the hospital stay, my son was not considered one of the family by the hospital. If you're following this issue in Washington, you've heard the nightmare stories that same-sex couples face when one of them dies. They are denied all basic rights. My father was a minister. He married all four of his kids, sadly, some more than once. My wife is also a minister, but if she officiates at our son's wedding, she must surrender her credentials. Yes, I guess, this is personal. Gay is not going away. Until we learn to deal with this difference in a mature, healthy way our whole society suffers. When we diminish the value of another human being based on race, gender, culture, dominant hand preference (Being left-handed was once considered “sinister.”), social status, or sexual orientation, we all suffer. Why can't we all just get along? PS: An excellent movie about scripture and homosexuality is available on Netflix Instant Play (or DVD): Fish Out of Water by director Ky Dickens (60 min.) enough

Same-Sects Marriage

What's this I hear about a controversy over same-sects marriage? How could anyone object to people who

belong to the same sect marrying? It is only logical that people who share similar religious beliefs as well as an attraction to each other should be allowed to spend the rest of their lives together in wedded bliss (or whatever). To deny them the same legal rights and privileges that my spouse and I, both Methodists, enjoy seems cruel and unusual. Many of these same-sects couple will want to have families, and if they can provide a loving, supportive environment for their children, they're doing better than a lot of the families out there today. What? Huh? Oh…same SEX marriage? Oh, well...never mind.

With all due respect to Gilda Radner's SNL character Emily Litella from the late 70's, I feel a need to weigh in on the current issue of same-sex marriage.

One of man's greatest fears is of the unknown. I believe the reason that same-sex marriage is so quickly becoming openly acceptable is because more and more people are getting to know gay people. Our perceptions of the gay community are changing based on the knowledge that they're not as different as once thought. The “typical” gay man is not the flaming shirtless guy wearing short-shorts on the gay pride parade float. As more people become comfortable showing the world who they really are, we see gays in every profession, living normal lives, productive members of society, many of them raising children, either adopted or from a previous marriage. The only real difference between gay and straight lifestyles is that only straight couples can legally marry in all 50 states. Many gay couples have been together for decades, sharing everything married couples do except the legal rights and privileges of a government-sanctioned union.

My primary reason for supporting gay rights is experience. I am blessed to know many gay people and find them to be loving, open, and quality people. I don't pretend that my circle of friends is a representative cross-section of the gays in our society, but this is my experience. I have great difficulty understanding how anyone can get to know gay people, hear their stories, and then believe that sexual orientation is just a choice influenced by the environment. Thus, the biggest obstacle to greater acceptance of gays is ignorance. Have you ever heard of anyone who supported gay rights but then changed his or her mind? It usually happens the other way around because the more one knows, the better decisions one makes. Well-meaning, conscientious, sincere citizens who oppose gay rights simply do not understand what it means to be gay. That is their unknown.

I have found that gays and lesbians exhibit the same qualities as straight people, both good and bad. The stereotypes of our “different” brothers and sisters are hurtful and inaccurate. Getting to know gay people dispels these myths. Sending your son to school to be taught by a gay man should be of no more concern than sending your daughter to school to be taught by a straight man. People who object to gays in the military, education, or (pick one) need to understand that they've always been there, quietly doing the job.

In the interest of full disclosure, I have a gay son. He’s been gay since 1999. Well, actually, he's been gay since his birth in 1979, but he came out to his mother and me when he was 19. Initially, we were shocked and disappointed because it meant rethinking the future we had imagined for him (and us). We realized that his long-time girlfriend would not become our future daughter-in-law or the mother of our grandchildren. Fortunately, however, we also knew that our love for him was unchanged and that we had no control over his sexual orientation any more than he did. My greatest concern for him, besides the scary AIDs thing, was his finding someone with whom to share his life. He floundered for a while, as do most adolescents, but found his life-partner in 2004. We love and are very proud of our “son-in-law.”

Would I still support gay rights if my son were not gay? Yes, I would, but admittedly it would not be as intensely personal. For those who would accuse me of a self-serving motive here, I hereby promise that if my son becomes an axe-murderer, I will NOT start campaigning for equal rights for all axe-murderers. I seek justice for all, not privileges for my family.

There is much opposition to same-sex marriage coming from the church. I am a life-long churchgoer with strong opinions about this issue. I have read much about the Biblical teachings on same-sex practices and the various interpretations of those teachings. People who teach that the Bible has unequivocal teachings against the practice of homosexuality do themselves and those who listen to them a great disservice. Again, the biggest obstacle here is ignorance coupled with a refusal to consider any new thinking. In the thousands of verses of scripture, only (about) six seem to address this issue. Without going into a full theological discourse, it should be noted that many respected Biblical scholars find these scriptures very weak in sexual condemnation when considering the translation, context, and social circumstances surrounding them. The writers of the Bible had no concept of committed, same-sex relationships so this is never addressed. The scriptures in question could easily be referring to male prostitutes of the day, still a no-no in my book. How very sad that the same people who use scripture to condemn others ignore Jesus's instructions to treat others with love and respect and directs us to be generous with our resources. By the way, Jesus never said anything about the subject. Important? I think so.

People in the church confuse the acceptance of gays with a lowering of our standards. Not condemning homosexuality does not mean giving those people carte blanche to do whatever. Once we get past the difference in sexual orientation, everyone is held to the same standards of behavior: faithfulness in relationships, service to others, honesty, and responsible living. This describes the gays I know. Promiscuity is still wrong, pedophilia is still wrong, rape is still wrong. The same rules apply to everyone. We're not that different.

God gave us brains so we could think, learn, discover, and reason. God is forever the same, but our understanding of Him is ever changing as we gain a greater understanding of the world. The vengeful God of the Old Testament became the God of love in the New Testament. God didn't change, man did.

Sadly, the church is rarely on the cutting edge of progressive thinking. From the Inquisition to slavery to civil rights to women's rights, the church has been resistant to change. It's time to change again and, once again, for the better. (End of sermon. Please leave your offering on the table as you leave.)

Many people hide their opposition to gay marriage behind religious beliefs when the real problem is the “yuck factor.” If the concept of same sex is so disgusting to some, how can others prefer it? I know the feeling. I hate liver. I have accidentally tried to eat it twice in my life and found it quite vile both times. I cannot fathom anyone enjoying the flavor of liver. However, I have a good friend who loves it, and when we used to eat together at Luby's, he ordered it every time because his wife would not serve it. His desire for liver is still beyond my comprehension, but I don't mind his eating it just so long as he doesn't try to make me eat it. Apparently he's not the only one who likes it or Luby's wouldn't serve it. People who oppose gay unions because of the yuck factor need to focus their attention elsewhere. Anyone who pictures every couple they know having sex has got bigger problems than gay marriage.

Redefining marriage? Really? That's what we're worried about? The legal definition of marriage has been changed so often I don't see a problem. How did the acceptance of interracial marriages (as late as 2000 in Alabama) devalue the same-race marriages? If same-sex marriage was legal in my state, would my wife and I be any less married, any less committed? Did you take a good look at the people that flocked to the courthouses in places that recently legalized same-sex marriage? Did you see frivolous, carefree, 20-somethings engaging in a “fun lark?” Or did you see people that looked a lot like you and me, some of whom have been together for decades, embracing the loves of their lives and fulfilling a life-long dream? I saw the latter. Our society would be stronger, not weaker, if we encouraged these stable relationships.

Of course, we mustn't ignore the infamous “slippery slope” argument. If we allow same-sex couples to

marry, then people will soon demand to marry their pets, their iPhones, and the tree in the front yard. We're still talking about two consenting adults, people. It's not really that different. A “good” same-sex marriage will look much like its straight counterpart: two people in love, committed, faithful, and supportive of each other. I even suspect that same-sex partners will take it more seriously. How can we claim to worry about the current “sanctity of marriage” with a 50% divorce rate and rampant serial monogamy? (I restrain from making a Kardashian comment here.)

My life experience tells me that homosexuality is a lot more natural/normal than most people think. It's often found in the animal world, and it's been a part of humanity for thousands of years or it never would have been mentioned in the Old Testament. Is it more common today, or are people just more open about it? I don't know, but considering the threat of over-population in today's world, maybe this is nature's birth control. I find it tragic to think of how many gay people over the centuries were compelled to hide their true selves. Speaking of tragedies, think about how many teen suicides are rooted in an adolescent's confusion over sexual orientation in a society that attaches huge shame to people who are “different”.

The parents of my son's partner moved in with them five or six years ago because the father had early Alzheimer's. Last fall the mother got very ill and soon died. During the hospital stay, my son was not considered one of the family by the hospital. If you're following this issue in Washington, you've heard the nightmare stories that same-sex couples face when one of them dies. They are denied all basic rights.

My father was a minister. He married all four of his kids, sadly, some more than once. My wife is also a minister, but if she officiates at our son's wedding, she must surrender her credentials. Yes, I guess, this is personal.

Gay is not going away. Until we learn to deal with this difference in a mature, healthy way our whole society suffers. When we diminish the value of another human being based on race, gender, culture, dominant hand preference (Being left-handed was once considered “sinister.”), social status, or sexual orientation, we all suffer. Why can't we all just get along?

PS: An excellent movie about scripture and homosexuality is available on Netflix Instant Play (or DVD):

Fish Out of Water by director Ky Dickens (60 min.)

enough

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