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That Mom

Amy Roman


I spent the first 30 years of my life only having to worry about myself.  That is a long time to be selfish.  I didn't meet my now husband of 7 years until I was 28.  We got married when I was 29 and had our first child when I was 30.  I had always heard the cliché that a child would change your life. I figured it probably would.  I even thought that I would be a great mom.

I worked in daycares for many years and knew all the things I would do differently than those “other” moms that I saw.  I knew that I would not spank. I would not let my children leave the house wearing pajamas and their hair not combed.  I knew that I would not let them eat junk food, talk back to me, have temper tantrums in public, stay up past eight at night or have a pacifier past one year of age.

I now have three children. Since I did not have my first child until 30 and always knew that I wanted three kids, we had our children pretty quickly.  

Jace is our oldest.  I remember the day he was born like it was yesterday. I labored for 12 hours and wouldn't dilate, so I had to have a C-section. I was exhausted by the time they wheeled me back for surgery.  They began and about 10 minutes later, my son was born.  They lifted him over the curtain for me to see. I felt like I was looking at an alien.  Not because he was ugly; he was actually quite a beautiful newborn.  It was just weird to see this person that had been living in me for 9 months now outside my body. It was very surreal.  I don't think I even cried, and that scared me.  I thought, “Why am I not emotional?” That was my first inclination that I didn't know crap about being a mom.

Life with one child was pretty easy and fun. We were a small family of three and happy, but I was ready for another. 

I already had broken some of my rules that I had in my head about being a mom.  Jace slept in our bed.  He had candy from time to time. Well, sometimes for breakfast. He was a very even tempered child, but there were moments of fit throwing in the Target shopping aisles.  So, I thought, “I'll just do a better job with the next one.” 

Bella was born 19 months after Jace. She was an ugly newborn.  But, this time I knew what to expect and did not feel so weird.  She quickly became quite beautiful and quite the little diva.  She has always been a night owl and still is to this day.  She can easily stay up until 11, and there are nights when I just don't care.  She often has very unruly hair at pre-k.  She likes to pick out her own clothes, and they often don't match.  She will wear boots with ANY outfit.

Our third, Brenlie, was born a little over 2 years after Bella.  By this time, I had now broken every single rule. I spank my children on occasion.  Jace has become quite the talker and enjoys getting a rise out of me by talking back.  Bella threw herself on the floor in a store a few months back because she was mad that I would not buy her something.  How did I become “that” mom?  I was so smart and wise before I had children.

I have now changed diapers every day for the past six years.  I have nursed three healthy children.  I have swatted many bottoms, cleaned up lots of pee, screamed and cried in frustration, made thousands of PB&J sandwiches, and kissed countless boo-boos.  Brenlie is now 2 ½ and still has a pacifier.  Bella took almost 6 months to potty train.  Jace's hair rarely gets brushed. But, at the end of the day, when they are all finally asleep, I know that I have done my best.   I am proud to be “that” mom.